Life Is Like A Cement Trampoline (LILACT)
So, welcome to life. This is a weekly comedic look at the rules of life.
LILACT 3
Invisible Identical Twin!
LILIACT 2
October 1 2012
This week, my Imaginary friend, Mowgi, has given me a few tips. Here's what he said:
-Never act invisible. It's how you become invisible.
-Always be a ninja. Unless you can be a chinneroth. Then always be a chinneroth.
-Remember, anything will bounce, as long as you have a large enough trampoline.
-It you can't confuse them, eat them.
-Only in South Carolina can you find a pole dancing club, a tattoo parlor and a church in the same strip mall.
-Believe you can be anything. California surfers once became intergalactic peace officers.
-The wizard of Oz was a man in a suit. A man in a suit gives you a job. Heck, if you need a job, go visit the wizard of Oz.
-The worst advice I ever got was "follow the giant spaceship. They know what they're doing".
-If blonde teenaged surfers can fly a spaceship, you can beat up the school bully with no problems.
LILACT 1
December 30 2011
This week, the HPPP have dictated my life. Here is their advice:
-I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing
-Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit
-A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become
-I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty"
-Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable.
"Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
-Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept
-I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
-I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl.
I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
MLIE stands for My Life Is Epic. I will be posting a new list every week. If I don't, spam my inbox.
LILACT 3
Invisible Identical Twin!
LILIACT 2
October 1 2012
This week, my Imaginary friend, Mowgi, has given me a few tips. Here's what he said:
-Never act invisible. It's how you become invisible.
-Always be a ninja. Unless you can be a chinneroth. Then always be a chinneroth.
-Remember, anything will bounce, as long as you have a large enough trampoline.
-It you can't confuse them, eat them.
-Only in South Carolina can you find a pole dancing club, a tattoo parlor and a church in the same strip mall.
-Believe you can be anything. California surfers once became intergalactic peace officers.
-The wizard of Oz was a man in a suit. A man in a suit gives you a job. Heck, if you need a job, go visit the wizard of Oz.
-The worst advice I ever got was "follow the giant spaceship. They know what they're doing".
-If blonde teenaged surfers can fly a spaceship, you can beat up the school bully with no problems.
LILACT 1
December 30 2011
This week, the HPPP have dictated my life. Here is their advice:
-I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
-I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing
-Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit
-A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become
-I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty"
-Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable.
"Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
-Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept
-I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
-I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl.
I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
MLIE stands for My Life Is Epic. I will be posting a new list every week. If I don't, spam my inbox.